










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 158 | 39% |
| Smokes | 88 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,463 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REAPER | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Lil Noddy | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | k00msh0t | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | I_S1M0N_I | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Bojler | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REAPER | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Lil Noddy | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | k00msh0t | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | I_S1M0N_I | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Bojler | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bojler | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | REAPER | 3 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | I_S1M0N_I | 2 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | k00msh0t | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lil Noddy | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bojler | +4.31 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Lil Noddy | +4.17 | 46 | 21 |
| #3 | Pablix0n.skins.army | +1.78 | 57 | 29 |
| #4 | REAPER | -0.49 | 34 | 52 |
| #5 | k00msh0t | -2.93 | 39 | 29 |





