








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 112 | 27% |
| Smokes | 119 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,132 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [trc] tekla jr | 40% | 65 |
| #2 | lakritZ | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | Dirre | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [trc] tekla jr | 40% | 65 |
| #2 | lakritZ | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | Dirre | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [trc] tekla jr | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Dirre | 4 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | lakritZ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [trc] tekla jr | 136 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | lakritZ | 73 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dirre | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lakritZ | +3.22 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | TEKLA | +2.13 | 38 | 10 |
| #3 | [trc] tekla jr | -0.79 | 49 | 41 |
| #4 | Dirre | -4.98 | 7 | 0 |





