








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2929 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2371 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1997 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1425 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,266,385 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Möhis666 | 49% | 68 |
| #2 | Kermapiirakka | 47% | 118 |
| #3 | Timmy | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | L3ga | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | Goofball | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Möhis666 | 49% | 68 |
| #2 | Kermapiirakka | 47% | 118 |
| #3 | Timmy | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | L3ga | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | Goofball | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermapiirakka | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Timmy | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Möhis666 | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | L3ga | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Goofball | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kermapiirakka | 314 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Möhis666 | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Timmy | 78 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | L3ga | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Goofball | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy | +2.62 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | Goofball | +1.73 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | L3ga | +1.34 | 59 | 42 |
| #4 | Möhis666 | +1.01 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | Kermapiirakka | +0.40 | 75 | 64 |





