








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3462 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2979 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2422 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,158,334 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yandere Tomboy Enthusiast | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | LivingTribunal | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Bolo Zuba Kesari#Zyzz | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Trash | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Name_less Gaming | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolo Zuba Kesari#Zyzz | 120 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Trash | 101 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yandere Tomboy Enthusiast | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Name_less Gaming | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | LivingTribunal | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |





