








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
42 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 9 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $40,200 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunaatic | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Miindy | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Gilbus Bergert | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | Avesine | 18% | 11 |
| #5 | bjork | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avesine | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | Miindy | 12 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | Gilbus Bergert | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | lunaatic | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kada | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miindy | +9.75 | 24 | 54 |
| #2 | bjork | +1.71 | 83 | 0 |
| #3 | Kada | +0.35 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | Gilbus Bergert | -0.14 | 45 | 41 |
| #5 | Avesine | -2.21 | 7 | 43 |





