








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1107 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1583 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1376 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,693 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkbullah | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | freew | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Dr. Dong | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | aw | 54% | 80 |
| #5 | Chefen2k | 51% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aw | 367 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Chefen2k | 207 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hawkbullah | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | freew | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | SentientPastrami | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aw | +2.79 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | freew | +1.06 | 40 | 60 |
| #3 | Hawkbullah | +0.82 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | chippo | +0.54 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Dr. Dong | +0.28 | 64 | 55 |





