








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 36% |
| Smokes | 435 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 232 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,370 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | broshkii | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | SWAGY | 44% | 52 |
| #6 | Flickster | 41% | 32 |
| #7 | The Arbiter | 31% | 49 |
| #8 | BubbleButtBottomBoys | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sim | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | The Arbiter | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | SWAGY | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | broshkii | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | KelsoNg | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWAGY | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | sim | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Arbiter | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flickster | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | KelsoNg | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |





