








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 304 | 27% |
| Smokes | 183 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 301 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,540 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleph Dog | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Danhelotas | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | pranciskus:Ä | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleph Dog | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Danhelotas | 42% | 45 |
| #3 | pranciskus:Ä | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danhelotas | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danhelotas | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sleph Dog | 43 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #3 | pranciskus:Ä | 12 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danhelotas | +1.90 | 9 | 35 |
| #2 | pranciskus:Ä | +1.66 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | Sleph Dog | -1.86 | 30 | 68 |
| #4 | Freeway | -3.29 | 16 | 36 |





