








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 21% |
| Smokes | 761 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 697 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,923 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BelF | 53% | 73 |
| #7 | Bloo3y | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | nekakoj | 50% | 34 |
| #9 | angan | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | 4ANTRIS | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BelF | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | gritijs | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | jumbo kebab | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | crailtapkk | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | nekakoj | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jumbo kebab | 207 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | gritijs | 179 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | BelF | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | nekakoj | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | angan | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |





