








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2256 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2138 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,806 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leva | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | m4nh_ | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | O.T.T.E.R | 44% | 299 |
| #4 | [FUMO] 旗を掲げて #skinape | 43% | 267 |
| #5 | ![]() MinhTri | 43% | 56 |





