








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 547 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3811 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 1938 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,465 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puuhuu333 | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Majoneesi | 44% | 172 |
| #3 | Lare | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puuhuu333 | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Majoneesi | 44% | 172 |
| #3 | Lare | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majoneesi | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Lare | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majoneesi | 161 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lare | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | Puuhuu333 | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jounzet | +2.88 | 41 | 44 |
| #2 | Lare | -2.64 | 40 | 15 |
| #3 | Puuhuu333 | -4.98 | 6 | 10 |
| #4 | Majoneesi | -5.19 | 13 | 27 |





