








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 16% |
| Smokes | 592 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,440 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | almost_404 | 39% | 28 |
| #2 | ShadowNoodles | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | almost_404 | 39% | 28 |
| #2 | ShadowNoodles | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | almost_404 | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ShadowNoodles | 3 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowNoodles | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | almost_404 | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | almost_404 | +0.96 | 25 | 13 |
| #2 | I ate a small child | -0.84 | 35 | 38 |
| #3 | ShadowNoodles | -1.04 | 39 | 43 |





