








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 196 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2893 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,191 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✟Batman✟ | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Alakazam | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Dack | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | Gurli™ Ù-Ú ◄:•D | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Ol3ctr0n | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ol3ctr0n | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Køkkenkriger | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Alakazam | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ✟Batman✟ | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Dack | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alakazam | 75 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Køkkenkriger | 70 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ol3ctr0n | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gurli™ Ù-Ú ◄:•D | 53 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dack | 50 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ol3ctr0n | +2.89 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Alakazam | +2.81 | 67 | 43 |
| #3 | Saku | +1.32 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Gurli™ Ù-Ú ◄:•D | +1.19 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Dack | +0.39 | 55 | 62 |





