








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 408 | 26% |
| Smokes | 291 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 326 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,372 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh0wkz | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | 90210 | 90% | 39 |
| #3 | mm | 83% | 12 |
| #4 | mariana | 80% | 90 |
| #5 | ptacinos | 65% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mariana | 21 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | ★Fire^^ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | sh0wkz | 6 | 0.0185 |
| #4 | tadashi | 5 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | ESK0 | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ptacinos | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | tadashi | 66 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | mariana | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | ★Fire^^ | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ESK0 | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |





