








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 273 | 36% |
| Smokes | 213 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 142 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,600 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 𝖕𝖎𝖋𝖋 | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | jaegarn stara | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | Señor Vacツ | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | DUMLEGROTTA NUMBER ONE NGRER | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | Nugget | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumlegrotta carryツ | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vacツ | +3.79 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | [--GRAZY--] Sandahlen #NäraJul | +2.90 | 56 | 74 |
| #3 | Krispi2k | +2.46 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | DUMLEGROTTA NUMBER ONE NGRER | +0.40 | 69 | 31 |
| #5 | Dumlegrotta carryツ | +0.07 | 48 | 35 |





