








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 162 | 43% |
| Smokes | 50 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 88 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 78 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,483 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shades | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | TheSniffer | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | jnszki | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | GamingShades | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | FAZE 0-3 RIO MAJOR | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max533 | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Juice | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | jnszki | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Omar | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shades | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |





