








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3270 | 37% |
| Smokes | 921 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 3476 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,411,185 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 947 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BL@CK B3TTY_ZA | 45% | 138 |
| #2 | drain gang associate | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BL@CK B3TTY_ZA | 45% | 138 |
| #2 | drain gang associate | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BL@CK B3TTY_ZA | 18 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | drain gang associate | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BL@CK B3TTY_ZA | 236 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | drain gang associate | 72 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BL@CK B3TTY_ZA | +2.11 | 36 | 57 |
| #2 | drain gang associate | -2.70 | 16 | 35 |
| #3 | Exist | -4.79 | 5 | 41 |





