








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3049 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3675 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4577 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3231 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,349 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 729 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BIG SMOKE | 46% | 81 |
| #7 | tren took my erection away | 44% | 36 |
| #8 | DEMON | 42% | 57 |
| #9 | PATRIKTÄHTÖNEN | 38% | 37 |
| #10 | Pirunhyvä | 35% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasbulla | 50 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | volavic | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | BIG SMOKE | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | DEMON | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Pirunhyvä | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasbulla | 915 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | volavic | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | BIG SMOKE | 205 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Neqqeツ | 195 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | DEMON | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volavic | +3.30 | 51 | 61 |
| #2 | Neqqeツ | +1.37 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | DEMON | +0.92 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | tren took my erection away | +0.25 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | Hokanderi | +0.11 | 67 | 68 |





