








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16184 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13162 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11128 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 10162 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,974,968 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BOB | 53% | 137 |
| #2 | Sh1nobi | 51% | 210 |
| #3 | Orange | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | EZwald brrr | 46% | 138 |
| #5 | Kronic Tonic | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BOB | 53% | 137 |
| #2 | Sh1nobi | 51% | 210 |
| #3 | Orange | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | EZwald brrr | 46% | 138 |
| #5 | Kronic Tonic | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EZwald brrr | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | BOT BOB | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Orange | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Sh1nobi | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Kronic Tonic | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BOB | 417 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sh1nobi | 391 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | EZwald brrr | 281 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Orange | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kronic Tonic | 199 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EZwald brrr | +2.30 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | Orange | +1.81 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | NCL | +0.11 | 44 | 63 |
| #4 | Sh1nobi | -0.90 | 36 | 43 |
| #5 | BOT BOB | -1.17 | 53 | 71 |





