








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1159 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1115 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,367 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Thorald Gray-Mane | 53% | 89 |
| #7 | rephot | 53% | 120 |
| #8 | Fake Adam Sandler | 44% | 50 |
| #9 | Kurbi-wan | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | PdT | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rephot | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Thorald Gray-Mane | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Looskie | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Fidget Spinner | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Kurbi-wan | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Looskie | 336 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Fidget Spinner | 140 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Thorald Gray-Mane | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | rephot | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kurbi-wan | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PdToony | +9.09 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | Thorald Gray-Mane | +4.19 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Kurbi-wan | +1.90 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | Fidget Spinner | +1.35 | 53 | 63 |
| #5 | rephot | +1.05 | 67 | 46 |





