










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25 | 24% |
| Smokes | 21 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 39 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,526 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerkFume | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Phantom | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | bubs✌ | 26% | 84 |
| #4 | Ronald Dump | 25% | 8 |
| #5 | QuTi | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs✌ | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | DykeSoup | 6 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubs✌ | 649 | 0.41 | 12 min |
| #2 | DykeSoup | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Phantom | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | QuTi | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | xqzt ` | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerkFume | +4.74 | 86 | 30 |
| #2 | QuTi | +3.55 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | xqzt ` | +2.39 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Phantom | +2.18 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | bubs✌ | +1.17 | 56 | 59 |





