








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 353 | 23% |
| Smokes | 366 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 386 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 418 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,877 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivar the bonelees | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | baresmølf | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Søren Gade Perkersen | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivar the bonelees | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | baresmølf | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Søren Gade Perkersen | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baresmølf | 10 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Ivar the bonelees | 9 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivar the bonelees | 131 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | baresmølf | 65 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Søren Gade Perkersen | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Søren Gade Perkersen | +4.39 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | Ivar the bonelees | +0.60 | 48 | 40 |
| #3 | Björn ironside | -1.18 | 31 | 42 |
| #4 | baresmølf | -1.67 | 50 | 42 |





