








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3226 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2760 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1834 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,873,775 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | ok garmin | 65% | 94 |
| #3 | cute catboy | 64% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | ok garmin | 65% | 94 |
| #3 | cute catboy | 64% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok garmin | 15 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | cute catboy | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | n | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok garmin | 139 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | cute catboy | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | n | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >⩊< | +4.67 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | n | +2.34 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | cute catboy | +2.09 | 94 | 44 |
| #4 | ok garmin | -0.55 | 64 | 28 |





