










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1596 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2432 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3186 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2364 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,261 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Reeves | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | afal | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Sneaking Zombie | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | Rusty Crowbar | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | Salty | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty Crowbar | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ Ash Stoker | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Ol' Scallywag | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Bird | Washed | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ✪ Reeves | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusty Crowbar | +2.82 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | afal | +1.79 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Ash Stoker | +1.67 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | Bird | Washed | +1.24 | 90 | 37 |
| #5 | Ol' Scallywag | +0.24 | 77 | 52 |





