








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7097 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6161 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5655 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4058 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,282,611 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PimentoCheese | 59% | 235 |
| #2 | SpotemGottem | 52% | 220 |
| #3 | My Snake Is Solid | 51% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PimentoCheese | 59% | 235 |
| #2 | SpotemGottem | 52% | 220 |
| #3 | My Snake Is Solid | 51% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Snake Is Solid | 25 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | PimentoCheese | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | SpotemGottem | 9 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Snake Is Solid | 572 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | PimentoCheese | 331 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | SpotemGottem | 327 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NutHairFace | +3.77 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | My Snake Is Solid | -0.36 | 41 | 62 |
| #3 | SpotemGottem | -1.06 | 37 | 46 |
| #4 | PimentoCheese | -4.49 | 14 | 43 |





