








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 542 | 21% |
| Smokes | 247 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 805 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,557 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krasher | 67% | 86 |
| #2 | ♿BelowTwojegoStarego♿ | 63% | 90 |
| #3 | VIRTR0X | 49% | 309 |
| #4 | BOT bobuś | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Trawencjusz | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRTR0X | 1095 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | krasher | 233 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ♿BelowTwojegoStarego♿ | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | BOT bobuś | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trawencjusz | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |





