








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1578 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1067 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 391 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,707 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fasutorui | 42% | 45 |
| #7 | kaikai | 42% | 31 |
| #8 | ヤヤえもん | 42% | 117 |
| #9 | み | 41% | 96 |
| #10 | m0NESY | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrspy | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ✪ Astolfo | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Fasutorui | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ヤヤえもん | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | み | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrspy | 1178 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #2 | み | 376 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | ヤヤえもん | 211 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Astolfo | 197 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Fasutorui | 186 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fasutorui | +8.00 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | ✪ Astolfo | +7.54 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | み | +4.70 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | m0NESY | +3.76 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | Magisk | +2.28 | 64 | 65 |





