








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1584 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 568 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,585 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewan | 98% | 99 |
| #2 | w | 95% | 38 |
| #3 | obvious | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewan | 98% | 99 |
| #2 | w | 95% | 38 |
| #3 | obvious | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obvious | 24 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | w | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Ewan | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obvious | 330 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ewan | 84 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | w | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewan | +7.14 | 98 | 39 |
| #2 | obvious | +5.63 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | w | +3.38 | 86 | 52 |
| #4 | wilt | -4.98 | 34 | 21 |





