








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2978 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4620 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4821 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,290 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osakistan | 535 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | MATATETO_LLA | 464 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | jukα | 399 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | ceel- | 373 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Aɾι | 370 | 0.16 | 6 min |





