








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,107 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2718 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3437 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2660 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2300 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,013 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mustafa S1mpel | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | SvenTheSkull | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Tjackbulleツ | 43% | 61 |
| #8 | Smiley ツ | 42% | 62 |
| #9 | Team Nov4 Zanxo | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smiley ツ | 16 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Mustafa S1mpel | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Tjackbulleツ | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | メNøxyツ DEMON | | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Team Nov4 Zanxo | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smiley ツ | 233 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | メNøxyツ DEMON | | 54 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tjackbulleツ | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mustafa S1mpel | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | PooyaPeek Släpp Min Kebab | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | メNøxyツ DEMON | | +9.50 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Ica Theo 4 | +4.66 | 62 | 48 |
| #3 | Mustafa S1mpel | +3.93 | 54 | 40 |
| #4 | PooyaPeek Släpp Min Kebab | +3.92 | 53 | 35 |
| #5 | Smiley ツ | +2.05 | 55 | 60 |





