








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1073 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 292 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4906 | 9% |
| Smokes | 17934 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 18174 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 13031 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,740,676 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Suh Lad | 47% | 311 |
| #5 | Dr. Drug | 47% | 159 |
| #6 | yidiii | 44% | 225 |
| #7 | Nozzza | 43% | 152 |
| #8 | Tomish | 37% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chever | 43 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Suh Lad | 26 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | keithmurray | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | yidiii | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Tomish | 14 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suh Lad | 1108 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #2 | keithmurray | 833 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | yidiii | 550 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dr. Drug | 428 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | Chever | 306 | 0.03 | 7 min |





