








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1222 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,913 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | insomniac | 37% | 67 |
| #2 | PaniniSause | 34% | 32 |
| #3 | 𝐌𝟏 | 33% | 45 |
| #4 | bonk | 30% | 23 |
| #5 | Cocaine | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | insomniac | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝐌𝟏 | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | PaniniSause | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | bonk | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cocaine | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | +4.27 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | Chiken | +1.73 | 54 | 28 |
| #3 | insomniac | +0.50 | 75 | 36 |
| #4 | PaniniSause | +0.11 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | 𝐌𝟏 | -0.24 | 74 | 65 |





