








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 864 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7994 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10444 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6909 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7683 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,301,439 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milanesa Con Pure ツ | 65 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | MUBA | 43 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | JORGITO MOLINIERS | 14 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Bot-Franklin | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | hern1 | 10 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUBA | 2106 | 0.18 | 52 min |
| #2 | JORGITO MOLINIERS | 1982 | 0.14 | 55 min |
| #3 | Milanesa Con Pure ツ | 998 | 0.06 | 22 min |
| #4 | Bot-Franklin | 447 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | hern1 | 297 | 0.14 | 6 min |





