








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 322 | 22% |
| Smokes | 547 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,089 of utility $10 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oogabooga | 47% | 139 |
| #2 | Switz_ | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Yorkshire Tea Gold | 38% | 55 |
| #4 | xDripx | 29% | 117 |
| #5 | CRAZYCHAOTIC | 25% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oogabooga | 47% | 139 |
| #2 | Switz_ | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Yorkshire Tea Gold | 38% | 55 |
| #4 | xDripx | 29% | 117 |
| #5 | CRAZYCHAOTIC | 25% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oogabooga | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | xDripx | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | CRAZYCHAOTIC | 10 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Switz_ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Yorkshire Tea Gold | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xDripx | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | CRAZYCHAOTIC | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | oogabooga | 102 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yorkshire Tea Gold | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Switz_ | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oogabooga | +4.06 | 68 | 27 |
| #2 | Yorkshire Tea Gold | -0.53 | 30 | 16 |
| #3 | Switz_ | -1.12 | 20 | 33 |
| #4 | T.A.S.K | QuackCocaine | -1.84 | 25 | 12 |
| #5 | CRAZYCHAOTIC | -4.74 | 4 | 37 |





