








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




246 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10137 | 45% |
| Smokes | 6275 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2391 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3662 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,018 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy | Emo Hoe | 45% | 99 |
| #2 | connor | 43% | 63 |
| #3 | becca | 41% | 354 |
| #4 | G00NER (sex god) | 38% | 84 |
| #5 | bloop | 38% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brendan | 43 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | connor | 39 | 0.0333 |
| #3 | becca | 31 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Defy | Emo Hoe | 22 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | bloop | 15 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brendan | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | connor | 238 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | G00NER (sex god) | 122 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Defy | Emo Hoe | 116 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | bloop | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy | Emo Hoe | +3.47 | 77 | 36 |
| #2 | bloop | +3.36 | 71 | 41 |
| #3 | connor | +1.27 | 50 | 47 |
| #4 | G00NER (sex god) | +1.16 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | movement.tech | +0.67 | 47 | 57 |





