








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1488 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2328 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1817 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,251 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Airport Hobo | 40% | 35 |
| #10 | Pandabeer | 39% | 54 |
| #11 | Slyrak | 37% | 30 |
| #12 | Patato | 27% | 22 |
| #13 | NᴀɢMᴇʀʀɪᴇ | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metapod | 31 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Pandabeer | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Ish Le Pawpaw | 7 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | 8 Ball Bones | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Ish Le Avocado. | 4 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metapod | 710 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sniper_SA | 117 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pandabeer | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ish Le Pawpaw | 83 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ish Le Avocado. | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metapod | +6.06 | 53 | 41 |
| #2 | jannieVetkryt | +3.70 | 47 | 33 |
| #3 | Ish Le Pawpaw | +3.49 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | Ish Le Avocado. | +3.40 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | wolfman | +2.68 | 46 | 39 |





