










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 350 | 29% |
| Smokes | 64 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,608 of utility $296 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolf.. | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | xayin | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Dauphin dangereux en bronze | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | 𝖊𝖌𝖔 | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | NoahLopes333 | 61% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoahLopes333 | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𝖊𝖌𝖔 | 72 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | OffTwist | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kurai_Kemuri | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Flowless | 18 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowless | +6.48 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | NoahLopes333 | +3.68 | 60 | 52 |
| #3 | xayin | +3.16 | 45 | 44 |
| #4 | Dauphin dangereux en bronze | +2.32 | 51 | 48 |
| #5 | OffTwist | +1.99 | 59 | 60 |





