










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2939 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2447 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2126 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,062 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sasuke big Autismo | 57% | 105 |
| #3 | WhaTheKappA | 55% | 116 |
| #4 | Hann | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | ɐƃǝdǝԀ | 52% | 178 |
| #6 | Equzer | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɐƃǝdǝԀ | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Hann | 17 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | WhaTheKappA | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Equzer | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Sasuke big Autismo | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhaTheKappA | 1065 | 0.48 | 23 min |
| #2 | Sasuke big Autismo | 582 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | ɐƃǝdǝԀ | 487 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Equzer | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hann | 58 | 0.05 | 2 min |





