










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2031 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,860,460 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrVanKlos | 47% | 88 |
| #2 | 50 shades of blue | 43% | 225 |
| #3 | jaroslaw kaczynski | 43% | 54 |
| #4 | Sareth | 42% | 83 |
| #5 | michal | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 50 shades of blue | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | jaroslaw kaczynski | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | WujaSzef | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | MrVanKlos | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Blue | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WujaSzef | 506 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | michal | 158 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nastye | 139 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | 50 shades of blue | 131 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Grażyna | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |





