










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1053 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9141 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8235 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 13373 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5547 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,606,097 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impala | 61% | 141 |
| #2 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | Aksu | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | REHTORI | 46% | 191 |
| #5 | Dachi | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impala | 61% | 141 |
| #2 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | Aksu | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | REHTORI | 46% | 191 |
| #5 | Dachi | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REHTORI | 40 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Impala | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Dachi | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impala | 853 | 0.29 | 24 min |
| #2 | REHTORI | 458 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dachi | 273 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | 176 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Aksu | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impala | +5.50 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | +2.78 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | REHTORI | +0.76 | 46 | 57 |
| #4 | piilonakki | -0.24 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Dachi | -1.46 | 39 | 50 |





