








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1424 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3006 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1847 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4025 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,970 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♡Että Sellanen♡ | 40% | 94 |
| #8 | Valtteri♕ | 39% | 36 |
| #9 | ᴹᴼᴳᵁ︀|ᴍᴏɢᴜ | 38% | 32 |
| #10 | Uncle Joe | 33% | 24 |
| #11 | murski | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Capitán | 229 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nasse | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♡Että Sellanen♡ | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Valtteri♕ | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | murski | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |





