








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 25% |
| Smokes | 328 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 408 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 112 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,772 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xenon - EnviusEagle | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Nyx | 53% | 131 |
| #3 | ♂TunnelSnake♂ | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | Milkshake | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | spkki | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xenon - EnviusEagle | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Nyx | 53% | 131 |
| #3 | ♂TunnelSnake♂ | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | Milkshake | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | spkki | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyx | 33 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Milkshake | 25 | 0.0295 |
| #3 | ♂TunnelSnake♂ | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | spkki | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyx | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Milkshake | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | ♂TunnelSnake♂ | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Xenon - EnviusEagle | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | spkki | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyx | +2.46 | 63 | 48 |
| #2 | Hero | -0.10 | 27 | 32 |
| #3 | Xenon - EnviusEagle | -0.16 | 35 | 39 |
| #4 | ♂TunnelSnake♂ | -1.25 | 25 | 21 |
| #5 | spkki | -1.70 | 40 | 28 |





