










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2634 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1638 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,544 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ross | 48% | 124 |
| #5 | Hiro | 47% | 190 |
| #6 | Timpel | 47% | 185 |
| #7 | sixsixsix | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | Gabi | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timpel | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Hiro | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Ross | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | MonSca | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | bonk | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MonSca | 823 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | bonk | 422 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Hiro | 244 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ross | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Timpel | 97 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soff9K | +2.39 | 55 | 31 |
| #2 | sixsixsix | +2.07 | 51 | 23 |
| #3 | Ross | +1.14 | 45 | 33 |
| #4 | Gabi | +0.64 | 68 | 46 |
| #5 | Hiro | -0.19 | 48 | 44 |





