










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2262 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3420 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2966 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2952 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,829 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endzeit | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Yatti | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | Salt | 43% | 35 |
| #4 | PurpleHaze0712 | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endzeit | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Yatti | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | Salt | 43% | 35 |
| #4 | PurpleHaze0712 | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endzeit | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Yatti | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | PurpleHaze0712 | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Salt | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatti | 184 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Endzeit | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | PurpleHaze0712 | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Salt | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soar | +0.51 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | PurpleHaze0712 | -0.61 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | Salt | -1.18 | 50 | 31 |
| #4 | Yatti | -1.61 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | Endzeit | -1.91 | 33 | 57 |





