








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 619 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 891 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1422 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,783 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | eemeli0.1✈ﷲ | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Themeza01 | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | jonttutzs | 34% | 47 |
| #7 | OgKaljuws | 22% | 18 |
| #8 | vitunleija | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xandre1 | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | jonttutzs | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | eemeli0.1✈ﷲ | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Themeza01 | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | OgKaljuws | 3 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OgKaljuws | 82 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | eemeli0.1✈ﷲ | 64 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | jonttutzs | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Themeza01 | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | xandre1 | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |





