








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1604 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,248 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | FUSRODAH | 47% | 221 |
| #3 | kubica | 46% | 271 |
| #4 | unLucky | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | Rōnin | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | FUSRODAH | 47% | 221 |
| #3 | kubica | 46% | 271 |
| #4 | unLucky | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | Rōnin | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubica | 31 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | FUSRODAH | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Rōnin | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | unLucky | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubica | 818 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | FUSRODAH | 692 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | unLucky | 264 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rōnin | 201 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | General Zurkov | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FUSRODAH | +3.34 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | unLucky | +2.72 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | General Zurkov | +1.37 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | kubica | +0.12 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Rōnin | -0.88 | 63 | 59 |





