








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2123 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2997 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1623 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,753 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valukka | 53% | 99 |
| #2 | THE Hogologo | 44% | 114 |
| #3 | Brass | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | EBINITES | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Detach | 40% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | THE Hogologo | 44% | 114 |
| #3 | Brass | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | EBINITES | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Detach | 40% | 105 |
| #6 | Miihael | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBINITES | 13 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | THE Hogologo | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | valukka | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Detach | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Miihael | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detach | 297 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | valukka | 296 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | THE Hogologo | 253 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brass | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Miihael | 131 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valukka | +1.98 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Detach | +1.68 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | Rane | +0.98 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Brass | -1.73 | 43 | 58 |
| #5 | EBINITES | -1.92 | 52 | 55 |





