








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1064 matches | ||
| Wingman | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3328 | 14% |
| Smokes | 7104 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7381 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5995 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,372,201 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 43% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 43% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 26 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 445 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | +1.10 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | PhilSee | -0.87 | 49 | 47 |





