








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 35% |
| Smokes | 284 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 150 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,916 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoHz | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | B3NJ1 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Mim1c | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | jocke | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | sphexxy | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zabeltann | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | jocke | 18 | 0.37 | 0 min |
| #3 | g0d | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | YoHz | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pilsner | 7 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jocke | +4.19 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | Mim1c | +3.90 | 80 | 84 |
| #3 | YoHz | +0.88 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | zabeltann | +0.45 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | wenba | -0.05 | 80 | 66 |





