








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 183 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1486 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3110 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2144 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,326,296 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | human | 223 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Perry the Platypus | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cat | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lip7y | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | [Odin]Badaxx21 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |





